We never imagined abortion would become part of our Idaho family’s story

When people talk about abortion, they often imagine a choice. A political issue. A debate.

What they rarely imagine is a married couple preparing a nursery, a little girl excited to become a big sister, and parents eagerly waiting to welcome a wanted baby.

That was our family.

We were excited to grow our family. We were planning baby showers, maternity photo shoots, and getting ready to welcome our son. We knew Idaho’s abortion laws had changed, but we never imagined those laws would have anything to do with us.

Then, last September, my water broke. I was halfway through my pregnancy.

Doctors confirmed that our son would not survive. I had no amniotic fluid left, which meant his lungs could not develop. There was no treatment that could change the outcome.

As we tried to process the loss of our baby, another reality emerged. Doctors explained that every day the pregnancy continued increased my risk of developing a life-threatening infection, hemorrhaging or going septic.

I didn’t fully understand the severity of the situation until I looked at my husband’s face. He looked terrified that he was going to lose his wife. That’s when it hit me: I could die from this.

What happened next was one of the most agonizing experiences of our lives.

We spent days waiting. Waiting to see if labor would begin naturally. Waiting to see if my condition would worsen. Waiting while doctors consulted with specialists and lawyers to determine what care was legally allowed under Idaho’s abortion ban.

We knew our son could not survive. We knew the risks to my health were increasing. Yet we were frozen, unable to move forward.

There is something difficult to explain about losing control over your own medical crisis. You lose your sense of autonomy. Your life and decisions are suddenly in someone else’s hands. While doctors were discussing risks, lawyers were discussing statutes. At one point, LifeFlight was standing by in case we needed to leave Idaho to save my life.

Thankfully, I received the care I needed. I am alive. I can be with my husband. I can raise my daughter. But that isn’t true for every Idaho family.

We share our story because many people don’t understand why a pregnant woman might need abortion care. They consider abortion as morality or as a choice. Sometimes it is neither.

Sometimes abortion becomes necessary during a wanted pregnancy and a medical emergency. Sometimes it’s the one lifeline that allows a husband to save his wife, or a mother to return home to her child.

Our son was deeply loved. If there had been a way to save him, we would have done it. Instead, we faced an impossible situation that required us to navigate grief, fear, and uncertainty all at the same time.

We share our story because families like ours exist. Behind every statistic, every headline, and every political debate are real parents, real children, and real medical emergencies.

We hope our family’s loss helps others better understand the reality that some Idaho families face.