Treason, rinse, repeat!

I’ve got a boatload of political shenanigans to break down for you today. Grab your swim trunks and your flippy-floppies and let’s get to it.

The Big Takeaway

I would very much like to stop talking about the 2020 presidential election. It ended 685 days ago! Joe Biden won! It is the oldest news in the world, and I am very tired of rehashing it! But it’s 2022 and nothing matters, so WHAT THE HECK, I will just go ahead and do it again anyway! There is nothing I would rather do with my one wild and precious life than continue to beat this extremely dead horse!

I’m sure you know why we’re still talking about this, but I will explain it again anyway, mostly because at this point I can pretty much do it from memory. There are two reasons we keep finding ourselves here: The twice-impeached, one-term president who blamed his own (valid) (sizable) electoral loss on (non-existent) fraud, and the millions of people who still believe him even though there has literally never been one single reason to believe him. 

The Big Lie is as stupid as it is persistent: EXTREMELY. Seventy percent of Republicans (se-ven-ty percent) still think Donald Trump is the rightful president. More than 200 of those believers are vying for state and federal office, in campaigns that either question the integrity of the 2020 election or focus exclusively on the lie that Biden somehow stole it. They can’t bolster their claims with evidence, but the falsehoods persist even as Democrats try to quash them with truth. It’s hard, in the end, to impose facts on an opponent who is wholly uninterested in them.

No one better embodies the ethos of willful disbelief than Mark Finchem, a GOP candidate for secretary of state in Arizona whose campaign (and possibly entire personality?) is based on the myth of voter fraud in 2020. His Big Lie bona fides were on full display Thursday, when he spent an entire debate dodging questions and repeating long-debunked lies, then attempting to prove them by citing other disproven theories, the Arizona Mirror reported.

Most of Finchem’s lies were predictable, like his claim that election results in two counties were “irredeemable” in 2020. (He didn’t provide evidence of this, on account of it’s a lie.) Others were nonsensical, like his claim that the 2022 midterms are more legitimate than the 2020 election because of … the candidates. (I don’t know.) He left unanswered any question that couldn’t be explained away with a lie; he also, bafflingly, refused to say whether he would have certified the 2020 results as secretary of state. (Denying those exact results is the entire reason he is running for office, but sure! Play coy!)

His opponent Adrian Fontes, a former county recorder, did his best to push back. When Finchem asked repeatedly why voter fraud had gone unchecked in Arizona, Fontes explained that officials addressed it when they certified the results — a pretty concrete sign that there was no fraud. When Finchem dragged Fontes for illegally sending ballots to registered voters in 2020, Fontes highlighted Finchem’s desire to kill mail-in voting altogether.

Nobody really won the debate, because nobody really wins a political argument here in the stupidest timeline. (Even the debates we don’t get to see are damaging!) Fontes encouraged voters to remember how, exactly, it became that way.
“Democracy is a decision, and as you’ve seen tonight, that decision could be no more clear,” he said. “You can decide between community building and stability, or conspiracy theories and cantankerousness.”

If Couy Griffin gets his way, voters in New Mexico will face the same exciting choice in a future election. The former county commissioner on Tuesday alerted the state Supreme Court that he intends to challenge a district court ruling that bars him from elected office due to his participation in the Jan. 6, 2021 riot, Source New Mexico reported.

That decision, issued earlier this month, removed Griffin from office under the 14th Amendment, which prohibits people from serving in any elected position if they took an oath to support the U.S. Constitution and then engaged in insurrection. The Jan. 6 attack meets that definition, Judge Francis J. Mathew ruled.

The insurrectionist, shockingly, disagrees! Mathew’s ruling is disrespectful to the rule of law because it took away the voice of the people in an unfair manner, according to Griffin, who participated in an insurrection that sought to overturn the results of a free and fair election and who also, more recently, voted to defy a court order to certify primary election results.

“[Judge Mathew] was not as concerned with following the letter of the law as he was with bending to his political influencers,” continued Griffin, who was convicted in federal court for his role on Jan. 6. “We hear so often today that ‘our democracy is under attack, our democracy is under attack,’ but nowhere is that more relevant than in my case.”

Honestly, Griffin’s argument makes an excellent case against him, though I’m sure he doesn’t care. This appeal, he said, is just a dress rehearsal for the real show: a subsequent appeal to the U.S. Supreme Court, “where that should be heard anyway.”

In a perfect (or even slightly less stupid) world, the U.S. Supreme Court wouldn’t even consider this case, but this world is very dumb, so who knows what the robed rulers will do next? My eye’s on Ginni Thomas, wife of Justice Clarence Thomas and avid sender of slightly treasonous emails to state lawmakers, per the Wisconsin Examiner.

On Nov. 9, 2020 — two days after Biden clinched the presidency — Thomas emailed three Wisconsin Republicans with a casual suggestion that they allow the Legislature to pick the state’s electors, effectively ignoring the will of the voters (who picked Biden). 

“Article II of the United States Constitution gives you an awesome responsibility: to choose our state’s Electors,” she wrote in identical messages. “This means you have the power to fight back against fraud and ensure our elections are free, fair, and honest. This responsibility is yours and yours alone — it doesn’t rest with any Board of Elections, Secretary of State, Governor, or even court. And it certainly doesn’t rest with the media. 

“That’s why I am writing today to urge you to do your Constitutional duty,” she continued as my soul wept over her dedication to random, nonsensical capital letters. “Please stand strong in the face of political and media pressure. Please reflect on the awesome authority granted to you by our Constitution. And then please take action to ensure that a clean slate of Electors is chosen for our state.”

This is, as usual, bonkers non-logic logic that has no basis in reality, the United States Constitution, Wisconsin’s state constitution or, I don’t know, a shred of common sense? But that didn’t stop Wisconsin Republicans from following her advice! Ten of them later attempted to cast the state’s electoral votes for Trump (the guy who did not win them). Interestingly, none of Thomas’ confirmed email targets — state Sens. Kathy Bernier and Andre Jacque and Rep. Gary Tauchen — were among the group. But because the emails were sent via a spammy automated service that targets public officials, it’s possible the fake-elector posse received them, too, Bernier said.

To date, Thomas hasn’t faced consequences for her actions (the spamming or the sedition). And I’m sure Justice Thomas will make sure that she never does! He’s so far refused to recuse himself from election-related cases despite his wife’s increasingly public attempts to meddle in said election. Nobody can force him to reconsider, because recusal decisions can only be reviewed by a higher court — and there is no higher court in this country than our beloved panel of unelected arbiters! It's a uniquely American mess that ensures that justice will continue to favor powerful people who least deserve it.

Marriage really is a government contract: U.S. House passes bill reforming Electoral Count Act to stop Jan. 6 repeat … Alaska Rep. Eastman remains on ballot but could be disqualified after election … (Arizona) Ballot drop boxes remain popular, despite attacks and misinformation … (Arizona) The J6 committee can get phone records for AZGOP leader Kelli Ward and her husband … Capitol rioter from Iowa called ‘leader of the mob’ by police did not testify in his trial … (Kansas) Legal advocacy group files ethics complaint against Schmidt tied to 2020 election lawsuit … Kansas attorney general candidates split on voter fraud, abortion rights, immigration … Minnesota used to be a pioneer on ballot access, but new data suggests that’s no longer the case … Nebraska election officials say their job is more stressful, under the spotlight … (North Carolina) With voting by mail already underway, Beasley-Budd Senate race remains neck and neck 

From the Newsrooms

• As wildfires become common, Idaho’s smoke season becomes a public health hazard
• Indiana attorney general files appeal to strike down injunction on the state’s abortion ban
• (New Hampshire) During Banned Books Week, a school district wrestles with how to allow book challenges
• Pregnancy centers outline advertising plans in Arkansas grant applications
• (Tennessee) Democratic leaders push back on calls for Vanderbilt transgender clinic investigation

One Last Thing

I usually don’t pay a ton of attention to weird news (politics is more than enough, thanks!) but a lot of strange things happened this week. Elon Musk’s ex-girlfriend auctioned off photos of him in college! (Someone paid actual money for them!) Officials followed trails of slime through an airport to catch a smuggler! Researchers are pretty sure that monkeys masturbate! The world is a little much!

This edition of the Evening Wrap published on September 23, 2022. Subscribe here.