Stockard in the Swamp: Can we get a decent sound system in America’s highest court?

This week’s episode henceforth will be known as Stockard in the Swamp.

Rather than slumming around Tennessee’s Capitol and the Cordell Hull Legislative Building, the Stump spent this week wallowing in Washington, D.C., where — who knew — the U.S. Supreme Court has a sound system that dates back to Alexander Graham Bell.

Granted, I ain’t no spring chicken. But my ears are about the only things left that come close to working. So when you try to decipher Justice Clarence Thomas, who sounds like he’s half asleep, it isn’t easy. 

It’s just about the same with Justice Sonia Sotomayor, who avoids her mic like the plague. And listening to Justice Amy Coney Barrett is akin to translating Charlie Brown’s teacher. Or maybe it’s just what she’s saying that’s hard to understand.

It’s little wonder they have sergeants at arms patrolling the chamber making sure nobody makes a peep. I was afraid turning a page on my legal pad was disrupting the proceedings or at least keeping other reporters from hearing every word.

(Incidentally, they were hearing arguments over Tennessee’s ban on gender affirming care for minors. A ruling is expected in June, and the incoming Trump administration could withdraw the U.S. Department of Justice as an intervener for the plaintiffs.)

The Public Information Office does deserve credit for granting this decrepit old man a day pass to cover the proceedings. They were extremely nice as they herded us from one line to the next before we could climb the hallowed, marble steps to the courtroom and our assigned seats. (Why did I feel like I was in first grade again?) I was one of the fortunate ones, too, because I could see the entire court while other reporters were obstructed.

You might ask: Why complain? That’s what I do.

For anyone who’s never been to a federal court hearing, regardless of whether it’s in Nashville’s U.S. District Court or in the U.S. Supreme Court, no electronic devices are allowed. You have to take notes with a pen and paper after years of getting lazy with recorders and laptops. If you miss an important comment, tough: nobody is going to tell you what was said. It’s 1987 all over again, which is the year the Stump started reporting. (Don’t you hate it when writers refer to themselves in the third person?)

Getting back to Swamping around, once you get outside the court and go to press conferences on the court plaza, the police treat you like a common criminal, barking orders and putting up a barrier around the speakers as if they’re sacred cows. 

When the speaking ends, they growl at you, “Everybody out in the street now!” Seriously, where else could we go except into the din of frenzied Tennessee lawmakers — which cost the state a pretty penny — bragging about their control over the minds and bodies of transgender minors and hundreds of LGBTQ+ supporters shouting they don’t want the government telling them what to do?

Truth be told, though, covering a potential landmark Supreme Court case was an honor nearly 40 years in the making. If nothing else, I can put it on my resume.

What he said

Tennessee Attorney General Jonathan Skrmetti made an interesting statement after the hearing, speaking about puberty blockers and hormones, which under Tennessee’s law are OK for all minors except those trying to transition. (Thus the state’s arguments that this is not a sex-based case?)

“The plaintiffs in this case are asking the court to take the power to regulate the practice of medicine away from the people’s elected representatives and vest it in unaccountable judges,” Skrmetti said.

First of all, anyone who has confidence in the Tennessee Legislature to regulate medicine — or anything for that matter — is sadly mistaken. A handful of lawmakers tell the rest how to vote, and the lemmings fall in the line of political order with their hands out for the next campaign fundraiser.

Second, don’t we have this thing called “separation of powers” that gives the Supreme Court the final word over legislative action? Federal judges could be considered “unaccountable” by virtue of the fact that they’re appointed for life. But in the case of the Supremes, they’re put into those posts by presidents, who — like it or not — are elected by the people, even if some are still disputing a recent presidential election.

And finally, if we didn’t have courts to ferret out every unconstitutional bill the Tennessee Legislature passes and Gov. Bill Lee signs into law, we might as well move to Russia. Oops, I forgot, we’re headed there now. 

Chump change

Tennessee’s Ethics Commission found this week that Gov. Lee violated a state law prohibiting elected officials from accepting gifts from advocacy groups by allowing a nonprofit group linked to its lobbying arm to pay for his trip to their Florida conference.

The commission found the governor received an indirect gift from the Alliance Defending Freedom, which is connected to ADF Action, a group with a Tennessee lobbyist. The governor’s legal counsel fought tooth and nail but to no avail.

Governor violated state statute with Florida trip, rules Tennessee Ethics Commission 

Lee’s spokesperson, Elizabeth Johnson, said after the commission’s ruling the governor’s office asked the Bureau of Ethics and Campaign Finance for clarity around its interpretation of a “vague law” and appreciates the response.

“The expenses have been repaid per this new guidance,” Johnson said.

The silly thing is that Lee could have pulled the $1,900 trip expense out of his back pocket or had one of his accounts pay for it. But, no, it seems the people with all the money are always looking for a freebie, which is probably why they have money in the first place. They’re skinflints.

That said, somebody please send up a flare to commemorate this moment. For the first time in recent memory, somebody in Tennessee’s state government showed the courage to make the right call.   

The usual suspects

The House Republican Caucus — in a transparent trip to Gatlinburg — voted recently to select its officers, unanimously re-upping House Speaker Cameron Sexton, House Majority Leader William Lamberth and House RepublicanCaucus Chairman Jeremy Faison. Rep. Johnny Garrett was reappointed as caucus whip, even though he’d been mentioned as an opponent for Faison until nasty mailers about him went out in the days before the November election.

Registry of Election Finance declines to investigate Rep. Sherrell’s fire-hall checks

The only suspense surrounded the race for majority floor leader between Rep. Paul “Ham Biscuit” Sherrell of Sparta and Rep. Jody “I didn’t mean to vote for Gloria” Barrett of Dickson. (Sherrell was accused of writing checks for cash at volunteer fire department ham biscuit breakfasts in his district and then pocketing the money instead of using it to buy firefighters a biscuit. Barrett voted not to expel Democratic Rep. Gloria Johnson last year, enabling her to escape punishment for an anti-gun rally, then spent the next few months burnishing his conservative credentials.)

Ultimately, Sherrell — the position’s incumbent  — prevailed over Barrett, leaving some to wonder: Why do lawmakers need to look to a floor leader who suggested the state return to lynchings? 

“No wise man has the power to reason away / what seems to be is always better than nothing.” *

* “What a Fool Believes,” Doobie Brothers