In his book, SC legislator tells story of son’s death in sextortion scheme

If you or someone you know needs help, call or text 988, the U.S. suicide and crisis lifeline, or access online chat at 988lifeline.org.

COLUMBIA — After Rep. Brandon Guffey’s son, Gavin, died by suicide following an online extortion scheme in 2022, Guffey didn’t know what to do next.

He turned to the internet for answers, typing in Google searches along the lines of, “My son just shot himself. What do I do?” But he found little actionable help there on how to move forward and deal with the grief he felt, he said.

Three years later, Guffey’s book, “Tomorrow Needs You,” tries to answer that question for other parents, while also trying to prevent them from ending up in that situation at all.

The book, which he started writing about a year ago, came out Oct. 21.

Along with Guffey’s personal story, his book includes practical advice about how to identify and protect children from sextortion schemes, how laws are passed to prevent similar tragedies, and coping mechanisms he found helpful in dealing with his grief.

Those were the sorts of answers Guffey was looking for in the aftermath of his son’s death, said the Rock Hill Republican.

“I hope that some of the things that I’ve learned are there for people that may not have made it there yet,” Guffey told the SC Daily Gazette. “It’s advice that they can follow. It’s something that resonates with them at a point in which it’s needed.”

Gavin’s story

When Gavin Guffey, a 17-year-old recent high school graduate, sent nude photos of himself over Instagram, he thought they were going to a college student in North Carolina.

But he’d been communicating with scammers, not a young woman. Once Guffey had sent the photos, those scammers threatened to share them widely unless Guffey paid them.

Sextortion schemes, as those scams are called, have grown in recent years with the popularity of social media and cellphones.

In 2022, the FBI was aware of more than 7,000 reports of sextortion targeting roughly 3,000 people, according to the most recent data available.

In more than a dozen of those cases, including Guffey’s, the person receiving the messages died by suicide, according to the FBI.

Nigerian man faces life in a US prison for sextortion that led to death of SC legislator’s son

Investigators arrested the man they believed scammed Guffey.

Hassanbunhussein Abolore Lawal, a 25-year-old from Nigeria, signed an agreement last week pleading guilty to producing child pornography by soliciting nude images of a minor, as well as cyberstalking resulting in death.

He is scheduled to officially plead guilty in front of a federal judge in Columbia next month. He faces up to life in prison.

Brandon Guffey would have liked to have had the end of the criminal case in the book as some sort of conclusion, he said. At the same time, though, he didn’t want to delay the release.

“Every day that I feel like we delay is a day that someone that might have needed it doesn’t have it,” he said.

Taking action

Since his son’s death, much of Guffey’s life has rested on a mantra he mentions in his book: “In order to change an emotion, you have to create motion.”

He learned that lesson at Gavin’s funeral, he said. The Guffey men have a tradition of always burying their own, heaping shovels of dirt onto their loved ones’ graves.

Guffey and his two younger sons, then-16-year-old Coen and 4-year-old Callahan, started the burial. Even after Guffey and Coen had passed off their shovels to other men in the family, Callahan kept working, tears cutting through the dirt that stuck to his face, Guffey said.

Guffey asked his son if he was alright.

“‘Yeah, Daddy,’” Guffey recalled his son replying. “‘It helped get the yucky out.’”

From then on, Guffey lived by the idea that work would help “get the yucky out.”

Guffey never struggled with his own mental health until his son died, but in the years since, he has had anxiety attacks and thoughts of suicide, he said. So, he tried to turn those feelings into actions.

His grief propelled him into action at the Statehouse and at a national level. Guffey won a seat in the House that November, having already become the Republican nominee, and immediately started fighting for Gavin’s Law to criminalize sextortion at a state level. That bill became law in 2023.

In the years since, Guffey has remained a staunch supporter of stricter laws around social media both in South Carolina and federally. He has co-sponsored bills to restrict social media use for children and gone to Washington, D.C., to call for Congress to pass similar measures.

Guffey also runs the nonprofit Less than 3, named after the last text message his son ever sent: “<3,” or a sideways heart. Through that nonprofit, Guffey speaks at schools and other events to raise awareness about sextortion and suicide.

The book is an extension of his advocacy, he said.

“My number one job, I feel like, is to stop the next Gavin from taking his life,” he said.

Working through the grief was difficult, Guffey said.

To keep himself moving, he thought about his next-oldest son, Coen. Guffey wondered what he would advise his son to do if he grew up and lost a child, then tried to follow that advice himself, he said.

“It’s tough to get forward and get moving, but if you want to enact change, you’ve got to get up and get moving,” Guffey said.

Telling the story

Guffey didn’t read the book in full until he started recording the audiobook version, he said.

He wrote one chapter at a time as a way of compartmentalizing, sometimes taking a week away from the page, sometimes several months. That way, he could focus on a single topic or moment, then move on when he finished, since the work was so emotional for him.

The book is a raw reflection of Guffey’s thoughts and feelings as he coped with his son’s death. Some parts use profanity because those were the only words strong enough to describe how Guffey felt at the time, he said.

“I was trying to describe every little detail, every feeling that I had, because I was so hyperaware during this entire process,” he said.

Guffey hopes parents pick up his book so they can learn more about sextortion and have difficult conversations with their children about what to do if they encounter someone trying to coerce them into sending nude photos or money. He wants lawmakers across the country to read it and push for stricter laws about social media use.

More than anything, he wants anyone struggling with their mental health to read the book and see they’re not alone, no matter the situation they’re facing, he said.

“My entire message is, tomorrow needs you,” Guffey said. “But in order to make it to tomorrow, we have to examine today, and I have to be able to look forward to tomorrow.”

Guffey won his re-election bid to the state House last week with 57% of the vote.