Foolishness and faux pas: The 2024 Niceley Awards

Each legislative session, we can count on state lawmakers to pass a host of unnecessary and sometimes harmful legislation — with beneficial measures thrown in for good measure. And in the process, we can also depend on legislators to entertain us, in a manner of speaking, with inadvertently humorous comments and ridiculous missteps. 

Thus, we bring you the second annual Niceley Awards, named for Sen. Frank Niceley, a Strawberry Plains Republican who has for years led the way in malapropisms and wild analogies, including his equating toll lanes with fascism and claiming that Adolf Hitler could be a good role model for people who are homeless. 

Increasingly, Niceley is on the margins as newcomers have stepped up to claim their 15 minutes of fame. He wasn’t a factor in the recent session as one of his few colorful statements was to refer to fellow Sen. Brent Taylor, a funeral director by trade, as a “young gravedigger.” 

Taylor was also an early contender for the Niceley win — and more on him to come — but a colleague from the House snatched the title away from him in the waning weeks of session. With no further ado, we give you . . . 

The Winner: Rep. Gino Bulso 

Rep. Gino Bulso, a conservative freshman Republican from Brentwood, made himself a standout in 2024 with a failed bill that would ban LGBTQ pride flags from public schools and another measure arguing the legislature is exempt from any challenges in state court to its rules. 

But those were nothing compared to his full-throated defense of incest, and to be specific, marriage between first cousins.

“My grandparents  . . . settled in Loraine, Ohio, south of Lake Erie, next to Cleveland, and they were first cousins. But they couldn’t get married in Ohio, so back in 1924, they actually came down to Tennessee to get married,” said Bulso in an April 2 committee meeting.

“But for the existence of the current law, I wouldn’t be here.”

Bulso didn’t stop then. When a measure that would overturn a law permitting such marriages came up for an April 12 House floor vote, Bulso took the microphone to deliver a truly weird legal justification for first cousin marriage: If, he said, two same-sex cousins have the right to marry via the Obergefell v. Hodges Supreme Court decision, all first cousins should have the same right. 

In a viciously fractured House, the measure to ban incestuous marriages passed 75-2, with only Bulso and one other lawmaker voting against it. 

Runner-up: Sen. Brent Taylor

When Brent Taylor was elected to the Senate in 2022 he was viewed as a mild-mannered moderate. 

The Shelby County Republican morphed into a near caricature of the ‘tough on crime’ politician, as he pushed a measure to prohibit the city of Memphis from banning the kind of traffic stop that led to the 2023 killing of Tyre Nichols by police. 

Nichols’ parents spoke out against Taylor’s bill, speaking of their anguish at the death of their son.

Taylor said he had empathy for them,  but added — all but twirling a handlebar mustache — “We can’t let that empathy cloud our judgment in protecting 7 million Tennesseans.” 

But that’s not all. When giving a shout-out to constituents who pressed for a measure to raise hotel and motel taxes in Memphis, the straight-faced Taylor took to the House floor to say, “A lot of people in Memphis have worked on this legislation — I mean they have worked harder than a bunch of ugly strippers to get this done.”

Dishonorable mentions

Gov. Bill Lee

Tennessee’s top government official has earned himself a spot on our list for the second year, this time over the failure of his signature universal school voucher plan to gain traction. In November, Gov. Bill Lee rolled the plan out with great fanfare, a fancy name — the Education Freedom Scholarship Act — and an assist by Arkansas Gov. Sarah Huckabee Sanders. 

With a supermajority Republican legislature and loads of money being spent by pro-voucher organizations, the plan seemed like a shoo-in. 

But amid a wave of pushback from public school systems, many of which issued public condemnation of vouchers, and a wave of opposition from members of the public, the House and Senate couldn’t agree on a bill.

Lee remained optimistic almost until the bitter end, saying on April 12, “I am certainly hopeful and confident we will get to a place where that becomes law in the state.” Nine days later, he acknowledged failure. 

Tie: Reps. Kelly Keisling and Jody Barrett

Rep. Kelly Keisling, a mild-mannered 73-year-old Byrdstown Republican, seldom makes news. But during a March 18 House floor session, his comments caught the attention of everyone watching. 

“I’m disappointed in this whole chamber right now,” Keisling began. “I didn’t hear a dadgum whistle when these girls came up through here. Not a whistle! But you can save that as they exit.”

The girls in question were members of the Pickett County Lady Bobcats basketball team being honored for winning the Class A high school state tournament. 

Dickson Republican Jody Barrett, always quick to wade into Twitter/X controversies, defended Keisling’s comments by pointing out Keisling’s three granddaughters were on the team and wanting grown men to whistle at granddaughters might not have been the flex Barrett thought it was. 

Rep. Scott Cepicky

Culleoka Rep. Scott Cepicky deserves acclaim for his measure that became known as the “vaccinated lettuce” bill, a measure to ensure shoppers will know if the vegetables they buy have vaccines in them. 

Although there is no evidence to show that veggies at your local Kroger have been inoculated, Cepicky claimed it’s only a matter of time before the government begins dosing you via produce.

He said his “consumer protection” bill would “make sure that if you’re going into buy tomatoes, and there’s a polio vaccine in there, that you’re aware of what you’re buying has a polio vaccine.”

Cepicky’s claim rests on a study conducted at the University of California-Riverside to find out if it is possible to use plant cells to replicate DNA containing mRNA vaccines.

He went on to say such produce would need to be labeled as a drug and not a vegetable, that anyone wanting such a head of lettuce would need to get a prescription and that eaters would need to know the “dosage” so as not to overdose on salad. 

The bill passed 74-22, was signed into law by Lee and took effect on Wednesday.