Celebrate Transgender Day of Visibility every day with allyship

Sunday, March 31, 2023 was a holy day for Chrisitanity, as it was the celebration of the resurrection of the Savior Jesus three days after his death by crucifixion. While this is a holy time, spent with a morning in church followed typically with a family meal; March 31st is also incredibly important in the LGTBQIA+ community. This day marks the yearly celebration of Transgender Day of Visibility (TDOV).

If you spent time watching television news programs or scrolling through social media platforms, you probably saw that many were upset about TDOV occurring on the same day as Easter. Many claimed that President Biden proclaimed March 31 to be Transgender Day of Visibility in an attempt to shove transgender rights down their throats. Lisa Booth, co-host of the Fox News program The Big Weekend Show was quoted as saying: “This is a clear effort and a coordinated effort to remove God from our society and to replace God with false gods, and in this instance, it’s the trans community. They clearly want us to bow at the altar of the trans community instead of bow to God, and even if you don’t believe in God, you should want to live in a society that does, because what God does in society means that we are accountable to something greater than ourselves.”

In actuality, TDOV was founded by Rachel Crandall-Crocker, executive director and co-founder of Transgender Michigan, in 2009 as a day to celebrate the transgender lives that are shaping the world today. This is different from Transgender Day of Remembrance, a day spent in mourning and reflection of all the transgender lives lost to violence and discrimination. With the reactions to TDOV and Easter falling on the same day this year, I am making a call to action, for all of those cisgender individuals who are allies, and those who want to be supportive but do not know how. Now is the time to use your voice, and proclaim equality of all transgender lives. 

Much is debated about transgender equality; especially when it comes to the youth of our country. Many who oppose transgender equality are using dehumanizing methods to attack transgender individuals; creating a narrative of fear and distrust amongst cisgender individuals.

First and foremost; let me set the record straight when it comes to the agenda of the transgender community. I have heard our opponents claim that we only want to convert the youth of America and destroy their own gender identity. In reality, the “agenda” of the transgender community is this: we only seek to live an average life expectancy.

According to a five decade long study performed by Dr. Martin den Heijer, of Amsterdam UMC found that “transgender individuals have a significantly higher mortality rate when compared to cis men and women.”

Transgender individuals are at risk for increased asks of violence compared to cisgender individuals; but far more alarming is how the risk for suicide is far greater in transgender individuals than cisgender. The study found that transgender women were 6.8 times more likely to die from suicide than cisgender women; which is incredibly alarming. As a transgender individual who has attempted suicide on multiple occasions, I cannot stress enough the importance that needs to be placed on transgender equality, if not to just save the lives of so many who feel that taking their own life is the better way. 

So what do I mean when I say that the agenda of the transgender community is to live an average life expectancy? Well first, us transgender individuals are not seeking special treatment. Many of our opponents claim that we want to be treated differently and treated as special in regards to cisgender individuals. This is far from the truth. All we want is to be treated with the same dignity and respect as any other person.

We want to have our pronouns respected just as any other individual does. We want to be treated as the person we say we are when receiving health care, just as anyone does. We want to have our identities respected by those around us, just as anyone does. Many opponents claim that the proper way to treat someone is by their gender assigned at birth; as that is their true gender according to them.

Gender is not a sum of our body parts, but a sum of our soul and spirit. It is an expression that we use to demonstrate who we are on the inside to everyone around us. Think about it like this, if a cisgender woman is at the store and a clerk refers to her as a man, because she might dress more “masculine” or have a “masculine” hair cut. Wouldn’t she have a right to correct the clerk; and become frustrated and upset if the clerk refuses to use her correct pronouns. YES! This is the same for transgender individuals.

Yes, I understand that it might be difficult to identify transgender individuals’ gender and pronouns, especially non-binary ones. That does not mean that you should just guess or assume. Rather, it is respectful to ask. What I have always taught cisgender individuals in my professional development seminars is to introduce themselves first, with their name and pronoun. For example; my name is “NV Gay and I use they/them pronouns. How may I refer to you?” 

This simple introduction is an incredible way to show a transgender individual your support while still respectfully asking what pronouns they use. I know it may seem silly to you, someone who has never had to question your gender. But to us, it means the world! When someone introduces themselves like this, it shows us that we are safe with you.

As an ally, there is much that you can do to step up and show your support for the transgender community. I refer to allyship as a three pronged approach; be respectful, learning and understanding, and advocating. Being respectful does not mean treating transgender individuals as special; rather it means treating them the same as any other human.

Oftentimes I hear that “respect is not given, it is earned.” Opponents will claim that to receive respect, you must earn it from them; which is nearly impossible as they view us as less than and using dehumanizing tactics to justify discrimination and segregation. Giving your respect to someone does not mean that you agree with their choices, or who they are as a person; it means that you see them and recognize that their differences do not make them any less worthy or deserving than yourself. Respect simply means that you accept that person for who they are; even when they are different from you or do not agree with you.

American poet and civil rights activist Audre Lorde said, “it is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences.” The adage of respect being earned has created a lot of discrimination, and has been used constantly to make others feel more important or greater than others. Respect comes by just treating everyone with dignity; realizing that we all walk different lives.

In Christianity, Jesus Christ taught us to treat one another just as we would want to be treated. He mostly spent time with those who were different from himself and deemed less worthy or undesirable by those in power. It is time that we all do the same. Our differences make us unique; and humanizing everyone through respect leads to an understanding that we are not really all that different after all. 

Secondly, as an ally, you must be willing to learn and understand about the LGBTQIA+ community on your own. Yes there are many within the community like myself who are happy to educate; but that does not mean that every LGBTQIA+ person will be willing to. Just as with every other human; some LGBTQIA+ individuals are educators, and some are not. Some LGBTQIA+ individuals simply want to live their normal lives, do their normal jobs, and be treated with the same respect as any other person. This does not make them any less valid in their gender identity or sexuality; rather it solidifies their validity as they just want to be seen and treated as everyone else.

This means that you must be willing to learn on your own. Perform Google searches and read materials found on LGBTQIA+ non-profits, listen to LGBTQIA+ individuals speak, read their books, and watch documentaries and content created by LGBTQIA+ individuals. 

Lastly, being an LGBTQIA+ ally means that you need to advocate for the community. Advocating often conjures up images of protesting in the streets, or at statehouses. While this is one aspect of advocating, it is not the entire picture.

It must be understood that you must find how to use your voice. Oftentimes, advocating can be done with small actions within your community. Correcting misinformation or anti-LGBTQIA+ remarks on social media, by your friends and family, in your workplace, or out in public. Advocating means that you are willing to speak up for those voices that are marginalized and dehumanized. You do not have to protest at rallies; but rather speak up and call for inclusion and acceptance. Call on your community, your church, your school, your workplace, and more to be more inclusive and accepting towards LGBTQIA+ individuals. Show that you will not stand idly by and allow for the dehumanization of LGBTQIA+ individuals.

Let me leave you with this; allyship is not a badge that you can claim. Rather it is a title that you must earn from demonstrating your willingness to be inclusive, accepting, and affirming at all times. It is not an easy thing to do; but rarely is doing the right thing met with ease.

This year, as we celebrated both Easter Sunday and Transgender Day of Visibility; remember that the teachings of Jesus Christ often showed us that we must stand with those who are being oppressed. Jesus never once sided with the religious institution of power in his day; not because he did not believe in their faith; but because he did not believe in their dehumanization of many marginalized individuals.

Be like Christ, and be an ally to the LGBTQIA+ community.